Depression. My endless depression. Demons in my mind I fight for the sake of my son. I do not want to be here. This is not the life I wanted. I'm not sure if I ever knew what I wanted. I just seem to swim by, going with the flow. Not that I didn't slam into a few rocks and almost ate by a few bears. They cause this depressed person today. My feelings get hurt more then I want them to and I read into to much. The Internet does not help.
I truly feel like my friends don't like me. I live in a small town and the only thing people do is drink. I drank and party and got it all out of me. And no friends call, ask if i want to see a movie. i have to be the one to ask my one friend to a movie and feel akward for asking. i dont drink, I don't see why a parent would drink? And much worse bring kids along (may it be camping or a Bon fire in your back yard.) why embrasses yourself around your kids, bring them into drama or let there ears hear things they should not! Yet I look online there's my friends, together drinking or out to dinner, never asked me. I shouldn't feel like the black sheep of my friends
I don't belong in this town. I was born in the wrong time. My heart and feelings with life and social standing are of that from someone that lived in the 40s/50s. Women with children should not work. Sorry your child needs you more. A child shouldn't go to preschool. If you can't teach your child simple stuff why are you a parent? No such thing was around when I was a child. I believe a woman's place is in the home and the man should work.
You can try to preach but it's a free country and i can believe in what I want. I know I can't be alone, not just in feelings but alone in life. I wonder if anyone sees this in me or thinks I'm just happy go lucky and you can push her around?
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